ATTITUDE BOOT CAMP MAKEOVER

Something snapped inside of me today during sacrament meeting (while trying to keep the kids reverent and behaved). I have a FIRM RESOLVE that things are going to change, FOR THE BETTER, in our family. Enough is enough. No more none of this lackadaisical parenting style. It is crap and obviously it isn't working. It is time for me to buckle down and whip our family into some serious shape (yes, Justin will of course be involved but because I am around the kids 80% of the time, I feel like this lays heavily on me).

We do not have a happy home and **I** am taking responsibility for that. It is embarrassing to admit but I have some serious anger issues and it trickles down into my kids behavior. I feel like we are stuck in a vicious cycle. The more my kids misbehave the more angry I get and the more angry I get the more they misbehave...naturally. Being a mom is a daily refiners fire. I desire to have a testimony of motherhood. I understand that I can't change others actions but I sure as heck can work on my own actions...work on my own heart. I desire to be a kind, loving, tender mom.

I desire for us to have a happy home. I desire for my kids to feel loved, safe, secure, valued. I want them to have a happy childhood where when they are adults they will look back and have fond memories. I want the Spirit to be found and felt in our home by those who live here and those who visit. I want a "warm and fuzzy" feeling kind of atmosphere.

Starting tomorrow, we are going to go on a TV/Computer free week and if it has to turn into two weeks, or a month...or however long it takes, then so be it. I understand that change will be gradual so I'm not expecting perfect behavior, but I am hoping and expecting for small improvements. ANY step in the right direction is the way to go, right!? :-D

My plan is that every morning, we will read from the scriptures for at least 5 minutes (starting out), before/after/during breakfast. We'll sing a primary hymn and then pray. We'll go the gym/or Joy School if it is a Tuesday/Thursday and when we get back home we'll read some books together. I grew up with a love for reading and I am sad that my kids don't have that love...yet. So we are swapping out movies for books and quality time. Kyra will go to school and afterwards, we'll go to the park or just have some activities to do at home to keep busy. The weather is DIVINE right now, so I think we'll be out at the park at least 2/3 times a week until it gets too cold. Bedtime will be more books, prayers and just lots of focused attention and love.

The trick to do this is *without* physical discipline. I know that that is another blog post in and of itself but because of anger issues I struggle with, I just can not go there. I will be praying very hard that I can learn to discipline in a loving way and not resort to yelling or spanking. I am reading a book by Danny Silk called, "Loving Our Kids on Purpose" and wow!! It is SO incredibly good. I highly recommend it. Basically teaches you how to discipline without spanking. It's so refreshing!!

I'm pretty sure Elder Nelson was speaking to me when he said this:

My dear sisters, you who are our vital associates during this winding-up scene, the day that President Kimball foresaw is today. You are the women he foresaw! Your virtue, light, love, knowledge, courage, character, faith, and righteous lives will draw good women of the world, along with their families, to the Church in unprecedented numbers!

We, your brethren, need your strength, your conversion, your conviction, your ability to lead, your wisdom, and your voices. The kingdom of God is not and cannot be complete without women who make sacred covenants and then keep them, women who can speak with the power and authority of God!

President Packer declared:

“We need women who are organized and women who can organize. We need women with executive ability who can plan and direct and administer; women who can teach, women who can speak out. …

“We need women with the gift of discernment who can view the trends in the world and detect those that, however popular, are shallow or dangerous.”

Today, let me add that we need women who know how to make important things happen by their faith and who are courageous defenders of morality and families in a sin-sick world. We need women who are devoted to shepherding God’s children along the covenant path toward exaltation; women who know how to receive personal revelation, who understand the power and peace of the temple endowment; women who know how to call upon the powers of heaven to protect and strengthen children and families; women who teach fearlessly.

October LDS General Conference 2015

I believe in miracles. I believe in healing for our family. I believe that broken things can be mended. I believe and know that we can have a happy home where all who live here and enter feel loved and secure. It will take a lot of hard work and chipping away at my imperfections and selfishness, but it will be worth it!  

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Family. Isn't it about time?