Heavenly Assisted

I woke up this morning with a spring in my step and a weight off my shoulders. I can analyze the living heck out of why things turned out the way that they did and beat myself up for even making the decision to go unassisted, but I am not going to do that any more because I remember the PEACE I felt when making the decision to go unassisted. I am very thankful for the entire journey and if I had to go back and redo everything again...I would still choose to go unassisted (or Heavenly Assisted as I liked to say during the pregnancy). :)

 22 Verily, verily, I say unto you, if you desire a further witness, cast your mind upon the night that you cried unto me in your heart, that you might know concerning the truth of these things.

 23 Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can you have than from God?- Doctrine and Covenants 6

I wrote this back in May:

Indecision is not a fun space to be in. I've been going back and forth this whole pregnancy as what to do as far as a midwife or delivering baby at home with just me and my husband. I am excited to say that I finally have come to a decision that I feel really great about. I've decided that I want God as my midwife and angels as my doulas. <3 In truth, this will be anything but an unassisted
birth! I haven't ever felt so close to God as I do now. I am in the process of learning how to 100% trust Him and to rely on Him completely. Obviously this is not a light decision and fear is constantly trying to creep in but I can not afford to be in the space of fear so I kick those feelings out as soon as they come in and replace them with complete faith. My two scriptures that are my anchor right now are, "I can do ALL THINGS through Christ which strengthens me" and " Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

I am reading a book called, "The Sacred Gift of Child Birth-Making Empowered Choices for you and your baby" by Marie-Ange Bigelow and am soaking it up. Partnering With Your Father In Heaven has been my favorite chapter. Here are a few things that really stood out to me:
-God trusts me to make choices that will keep my children healthy, strong, protected, and safe. It is not a mantel to be taken lightly.
-We use motherhood to grow closer to the Lord and to become more like Him.
-..*****"putting this totally in God's hands became my way of coming closer to Him and personally sacrificing my will to his."******
-I needed his full support.
-We know that God is always reaching to us, but we must also reach to Him.

I love to imagine how the birth process is going to go (working on creating with my thoughts how I hope it will go).
When it happens, I am calm and excited. I ride the birthing waves (contractions) with peace and get through each one knowing that I am that much closer to bringing this child into the world. The lights are dim and I have Lavender essential oil being diffused into the air (*need to get a diffuser*) and beautiful music playing. Justin is there supporting me 100% and helping me to focus. I deliver baby in our nice big bathtub and baby is perfectly healthy and happy. We are instantly bonded and have a strong connection. All went perfectly well.

 I feel Divinely Supported from God and have asked Angels to be a part of my support system through this process.



Remember that your birth is your birth and yours alone. Your choice only affect you and your family, so your decisions should not be based on what others think you should do. The opinions and preferences of others actually have no bearing on your birthing experience... No one knows better than you do which type of birth will be most satisfying for you, and no one else is as entitled to personal revelation regarding birth decisions as the mother and father.-Marie-Ange Bigelow from the book The Sacred Gift of Child Birth, Making Empowered Choices for You and Your Baby

I wrote this back in June:

The other night I was talking with my husband and sharing my feelings about when baby comes. I told him that I needed him to be my rock (I could instantly see that that weighed very heavy on him due to having to be "the rock" at work for so many people). I was listening to a group call that I am a part of, the next day, and I was enlightened that Justin doesn't need to be my rock. Heavenly Father will be my rock! Yes, Justin will be an excellent support and I'll 100% value and treasure him being a huge part of the process but ultimately bringing this child into the world will be up to me and Heavenly Father.

My favorite hymn is How Firm A Foundation and I'll keep these words in my heart during the birthing process.

1. Fear not, fear not, O be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I will strengthen and guide thee, and help thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.
2. When through fiery trials thy pathways shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be they supply.
The flame shall not hurt thee; my only design
Is to make you more holy, more pure, and refined.
3. The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose,
I will not, I cannot desert to its foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
It mattereth not, for I’ll never, never forsake.

Affirmations that stuck out to me were: I create every piece of my reality, I am programmed to succeed, I am wired for greatness, I am Divinely Supported (I have asked that my angel Grandmas to be at the birth too..eekk!), in any situation I have a choice between love and fear. I CHOOSE LOVE. I am aligned with the idea that the birthing process will be easy and fast.

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back-- Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now." Johann Wolfgang von GoetheI

I know that there will be people who don't understand and will say we were wrong to do what we did but I am ok with that. We each have our own journeys to take and I can guarantee that mine will look a lot different than yours. :) 

I am so very thankful for all the love and support that I've received from family and friends during this time. I love the people in my life!!! I am truly blessed.